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halfamoonTitle: Her Heart's Secret Desires
Fandom: Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman
Author: Apache Firecat
Characters: Sully/Mike
Rating: G/K
Summary: Sometimes, she just wanted to be a woman.
Word Count: 1,113
Written For: Half A Moon Day 4: Education, 100FandomHell Fandom #47, and Fannish 50 #19
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
She had never thought that education could be romantic. She had had to fight hard to earn her right to education, and there were still far too many people, men and women alike, who thought the "fairer" or "gentler" sex had no right, reason, or need to learn. Yet there were others still in this world, men and women alike, who craved knowledge, who craved just the basic rights of being able to read and write so that they could further themselves in this ever-growing world.
The people back home didn't realize just what a wonderful privilege they had to decide whether they wanted to learn to read and write. The people here, in stark contrast, both on the reservation and in town, were split almost down the middle between people who yearned to learn so that they could better themselves and reach for better opportunities not just for themselves but for those who they loved and people who thought that women and Indians had no right to reading, writing, or even language. They were the type like Hank who knocked people around when they dared to speak up for themselves. Many of them had tried to run her away, but Michaela had made it clear that she wasn't leaving.
Not only was she not leaving this town, and the opportunity it presented her of actually being able to help people who were desperate enough to accept assistance from a female doctor, but she was equally determined to help everyone she could. Indeed, she had had so many people come to her to teach them, in private, how to learn to read and write that perhaps it was time that she began to consider a secondary teacher. Colleen would do well, at least with the beginning lessons. Perhaps Horace could pitch in as well, if she approached him in the right manner. Little Dove was coming right along in her lessons, and she might be able to assist more on the reservation -- if the Chief would allow her to do so. He was very open minded, focused on doing what was best for his people, and determined to help them progress in any way he could. It had been a hard lesson, Doctor Mike knew, for him to accept that they were going to have to progress to keep from being wiped out by the cruelty of the generic white man, but he had done so. Besides, Sully had a way of being able to bring the Chief around to his way of thinking, and he knew very well how important the language arts were for progression and even, to a certain extent, basic survival.
There was a great deal Sully and the Indians could teach her, Doctor Mike recognized, but there was also a great deal of help she could give them. Right now, however, with the firelight crackling beside them and Sully being so close, it was growing increasingly difficult to think of their lessons as being strictly professional and helpful. It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to focus on the teachings at all. His hand brushed hers, and she blinked, startled, as he turned the page. Yet he didn't withdraw from the book, his fingers instead lingering gently on her hand.
She knew his hands had to be rough from his lifestyle, but every time he touched her, they felt so gentle. His arms were gentle too, and yet also the strongest she'd ever known. She had never felt as safe, warm, or protected as she had during the few times his arms had been around her, almost always to protect her from some threat. She knew they were the gossip of the town, and it wouldn't help her reputation, his, or the Indians' for people to think she was already having an affair with him. Yet what did she really care about what they thought? She had learned long ago that, no matter what she did, who she helped, or how, people would always ultimately think whatever they chose.
"Doctor Mike," he asked, "what is that word?"
She turned to face him and found his face, particularly his mouth, merely a breath away from her own. Her heartbeat suddenly sounded in her ears much louder than the crackling fire. "I -- Call me Michaela," she almost stammered. Her feelings for him were so strong, and she knew he felt for her.
"That would... not be proper," he whispered. Was it her imagination, or had his breath become husky with desire and, she liked to think though it was silly, given that he could so easily have any woman in town or on the reservation, need?
He reached up and cupped her face. She trembled inside as he swept a strand of her long, brown hair out of her face, but it was a truly wonderful feeling. She'd never felt the way she was coming to feel about him about anyone else. She had always been so dedicated to her work, to her dreams of helping others and showing the world that a woman could be a life-saving doctor... But in this moment, she didn't want to be a doctor, or a teacher. She wanted only to be a woman, to be his woman.
Her lips parted, but suddenly, toward the back of the cabin, Colleen screamed. Sully jumped away from her faster than she'd ever seen him move from a snake. "I think I should go for the night," he said and was gone through the single, heavy, and wooden door before Michaela could so much as speak a word.
Colleen screamed again, and Michaela could hear her brothers hurrying to her. Oh, how she sometimes regretted her work! Sometimes, truly, she only wanted to be a woman, loving Sully and caring for these children with whom God had blessed her, and toward whom she was already hurrying now! But she was needed by much more than one man and three children. As she hurried to the kids, flashes of Grace and Robert E. Lee, of Horace and Dorothy, of Cloud Dancing and so many others flashed rapidly through her mind. She hoped they were warm and safe even as she longed, not just to feed her heart's secret desire, that Sully would have stayed. She hoped he would have a warm place for the night, but she knew he'd stay safe. Still, as she gathered Colleen in her arms, soothing her nerves from her nightmare, she said a silent prayer for him and for all the people she had met in this wonderful, though trying, town, a prayer for safety, hope, warmth, and progress for them all.
The End
Fandom: Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman
Author: Apache Firecat
Characters: Sully/Mike
Rating: G/K
Summary: Sometimes, she just wanted to be a woman.
Word Count: 1,113
Written For: Half A Moon Day 4: Education, 100FandomHell Fandom #47, and Fannish 50 #19
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
She had never thought that education could be romantic. She had had to fight hard to earn her right to education, and there were still far too many people, men and women alike, who thought the "fairer" or "gentler" sex had no right, reason, or need to learn. Yet there were others still in this world, men and women alike, who craved knowledge, who craved just the basic rights of being able to read and write so that they could further themselves in this ever-growing world.
The people back home didn't realize just what a wonderful privilege they had to decide whether they wanted to learn to read and write. The people here, in stark contrast, both on the reservation and in town, were split almost down the middle between people who yearned to learn so that they could better themselves and reach for better opportunities not just for themselves but for those who they loved and people who thought that women and Indians had no right to reading, writing, or even language. They were the type like Hank who knocked people around when they dared to speak up for themselves. Many of them had tried to run her away, but Michaela had made it clear that she wasn't leaving.
Not only was she not leaving this town, and the opportunity it presented her of actually being able to help people who were desperate enough to accept assistance from a female doctor, but she was equally determined to help everyone she could. Indeed, she had had so many people come to her to teach them, in private, how to learn to read and write that perhaps it was time that she began to consider a secondary teacher. Colleen would do well, at least with the beginning lessons. Perhaps Horace could pitch in as well, if she approached him in the right manner. Little Dove was coming right along in her lessons, and she might be able to assist more on the reservation -- if the Chief would allow her to do so. He was very open minded, focused on doing what was best for his people, and determined to help them progress in any way he could. It had been a hard lesson, Doctor Mike knew, for him to accept that they were going to have to progress to keep from being wiped out by the cruelty of the generic white man, but he had done so. Besides, Sully had a way of being able to bring the Chief around to his way of thinking, and he knew very well how important the language arts were for progression and even, to a certain extent, basic survival.
There was a great deal Sully and the Indians could teach her, Doctor Mike recognized, but there was also a great deal of help she could give them. Right now, however, with the firelight crackling beside them and Sully being so close, it was growing increasingly difficult to think of their lessons as being strictly professional and helpful. It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to focus on the teachings at all. His hand brushed hers, and she blinked, startled, as he turned the page. Yet he didn't withdraw from the book, his fingers instead lingering gently on her hand.
She knew his hands had to be rough from his lifestyle, but every time he touched her, they felt so gentle. His arms were gentle too, and yet also the strongest she'd ever known. She had never felt as safe, warm, or protected as she had during the few times his arms had been around her, almost always to protect her from some threat. She knew they were the gossip of the town, and it wouldn't help her reputation, his, or the Indians' for people to think she was already having an affair with him. Yet what did she really care about what they thought? She had learned long ago that, no matter what she did, who she helped, or how, people would always ultimately think whatever they chose.
"Doctor Mike," he asked, "what is that word?"
She turned to face him and found his face, particularly his mouth, merely a breath away from her own. Her heartbeat suddenly sounded in her ears much louder than the crackling fire. "I -- Call me Michaela," she almost stammered. Her feelings for him were so strong, and she knew he felt for her.
"That would... not be proper," he whispered. Was it her imagination, or had his breath become husky with desire and, she liked to think though it was silly, given that he could so easily have any woman in town or on the reservation, need?
He reached up and cupped her face. She trembled inside as he swept a strand of her long, brown hair out of her face, but it was a truly wonderful feeling. She'd never felt the way she was coming to feel about him about anyone else. She had always been so dedicated to her work, to her dreams of helping others and showing the world that a woman could be a life-saving doctor... But in this moment, she didn't want to be a doctor, or a teacher. She wanted only to be a woman, to be his woman.
Her lips parted, but suddenly, toward the back of the cabin, Colleen screamed. Sully jumped away from her faster than she'd ever seen him move from a snake. "I think I should go for the night," he said and was gone through the single, heavy, and wooden door before Michaela could so much as speak a word.
Colleen screamed again, and Michaela could hear her brothers hurrying to her. Oh, how she sometimes regretted her work! Sometimes, truly, she only wanted to be a woman, loving Sully and caring for these children with whom God had blessed her, and toward whom she was already hurrying now! But she was needed by much more than one man and three children. As she hurried to the kids, flashes of Grace and Robert E. Lee, of Horace and Dorothy, of Cloud Dancing and so many others flashed rapidly through her mind. She hoped they were warm and safe even as she longed, not just to feed her heart's secret desire, that Sully would have stayed. She hoped he would have a warm place for the night, but she knew he'd stay safe. Still, as she gathered Colleen in her arms, soothing her nerves from her nightmare, she said a silent prayer for him and for all the people she had met in this wonderful, though trying, town, a prayer for safety, hope, warmth, and progress for them all.
The End
